Computers hate me personally...

I used to work with a young lady who really used to believe that... she came to that conclusion when faced with what, in her mind, was overwhelming evidence that there was an intelligence inside that little grey box determined to make her life a misery. And then I heard at the weekend about those folks who believe that your IPod can actually sense your moods! Apparently there are some who put their players on 'random shuffle', believing that the next track to be played would be the one they needed to listen to right then.

Does technology really have those capabilities? Or is it our love of tech, born out of many years of science fiction that seems to instill almost human emotions to our tech? Some writers seem to think so; see one opinion here.

As for me, I just want my tech to work the way I want it to. Is that too much to ask for?

Help Desk

I've had another series of meaningful exchanges with two different IT help desks today. A minor issue soon escalated to a total lack of service, with each help desk sure that the other was at fault. Who do I, the customer, believe? I think I'll go with the flow and just mark this one with the acronym P.I.C.N.I.C (Problem In Chair Not In Computer). So the problem isn't the desk but the chair. But whose chair?

What's your problem?

Another sensational week in the office, which on reflection can be summed up by looking at the extent of technological problems we seem to face. And as it's my job to 'sort them out', I get involved with them all! However, looking at each in the cold light of day, are these bugs really all they appear to be? Is the tech in fact more trouble than it's worth (as some say)? Let's look at these issues from a Luddite point of view - are these all problems caused by the presence of technology? And could we work better without it?

* The instant messaging system suddenly gave up working sometime last week. It's not essential to work, but it's nice to have (I can tell when people are logged in to their PCs, great to know when you're trying to talk to people some hundred miles away). I reported the fault, however after a week or so the IT team are still investigating the problem. They say it might be a hardware fault, it might be software. It could I suppose be someone unplugging something they shouldn't - but I guess they'd never tell me if this was the reason. :)

* There was the problems we had with the letters produced by the company's computer system. One particular type of letter stopped working at all, immediately following an upgrade to the system. Is this truly the computer's fault, or the fault of the programmer who worked on the upgrade? In fact, this turned out to be the programmer - although the client was said to be at fault for not testing the release properly! (****!)

* And then there was the fact that all the phones suddenly stopped ringing one afternoon. Quiet, I grant you. Too quiet. The problem was traced to the 0845 provider, whose network went down unexpectedly. I'm told this was definitely a hardware failure. We got the phones back pretty quickly, thankfully.

Out of three examples, we have one failure of the technology, one failure of the programmer, and one where the court is still out. Do you know what I think? I think that on average it'll work out that more than half the time the problem is due to people - although you can bet that in most cases the computers will be blamed.

Could we work better without tech? If we did, we'd need far more people to do the work - with all the consequent cost repercussions, i.e., training, health & safety, holiday and sickness cover. Remember, it was to reduce such reliance on personnel (and improve productivity) that employers chose to automate, leading to the Luddite riots - see top of this blog.

"People are a problem." - Douglas Adams

Holidays in the 21st Century

I've just returned from a short break away with the family. As usual we spent it under canvas. I love sitting out somewhere peaceful and green! However, such is the pace of life in the 21st Century that folk on some campsites seem to complain about 'not having a mobile phone signal' or 'not being able to get wifi for my laptop'.

Am I strange - because I consider it a distinct advantage not having access whilst I'm on my hols. It's supposed to be a break! Yes, I do take the mobile away with me, but if folk can't reach me they can always leave a message! We do usually go off site at least once a day (the shops are only a short distance away) and can get a chance to check messages then. And emails can of course wait!

I think that people lack the discipline; they can't seem to leave the technology behind. Hmmm ... need to ponder that a bit longer. Seems to strike a chord with me, too...

Luddite blogging

Ever since that fateful day a couple of months ago (a particularly grotty day in the office, lots of computer problems) I've identified in myself, for want of a better word, 'Luddite' tendencies which have led to the creation of this blog. The mere idea of a Luddite blog (in the modern day definition of the term) is of course strange in itself, but this becomes all the more curious when you consider this is written by a person who regularly emails, texts, and uses Facebook and Twitter. Part of this very entry was written on my mobile phone on the 1630 train home and posted to the 'net before I pulled into the station. So I am clearly not opposed to technology.

So, what's my problem, then? Well, it's not the tech I have an issue with, it's how it is used... If used properly the tools of the 21st Century can be beneficial, freeing man from his problems, enabling him to do much more than he ever could before. He can communicate with others, feel part of a community, live a life worth living. Used in the wrong way technology can enslave man, preventing freedom, fuelling greed and negative feelings.

Surely you can't be serious, I hear you ask? Oh yes. I've seen things this very month that have reinforced my views.

In the last month I've worked alongside folk with a variety of physical disabilities, using modern tech in the best possible way, to live real and satisfying lives. It was great - and I want to see more of this, to be part of this. While I was away from home, I kept in daily touch with my loved ones on my mobile, and Facebook.

But on the other hand there are always instances in the modern world where technology is used not to benefit man but to benefit production - to speed up work, so one man can do the job of four. And so three men lose their jobs! That's not improving life, that's just economics!

The sort of Luddism I embrace is one centred on social justice, not opposition to technological advancement. And isn't that really what Luddism is all about... isn't it?

Simplify!

Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is.
Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.
(Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top)

It's all too true nowadays, with complex computer systems, that the 'experts' on the Help Desk (sic) of your local IT Department often don't have a clue as to why your computer system won't work, or is doing what is does. And that's understandable, because modern-day computer systems are all too complicated. It could be a software problem or a hardware problem. Frequently it's a user problem (because you pressed the wrong keys, dummy! Or fiddled with the settings!). The modern-day man in the street is ignorant of these complexities, just wanting the system to work for him. However, the more functionality we are offered as a consumer, the more complicated our systems become - and the more complicated our lives become.

Simpler is better.

Progress?

When I was growing up in the Sixties, the thought of having computers and modern technology were always couched in terms of 'labour-saving devices', and the thought of an idyllic world where machines did all the menial labour, giving people time to enjoy life.

When I first started out in an office in the late Seventies, the telex machine was just being phased out, having been first introduced just after the Second World War. Telegraphy providers developed systems that used telephone-like rotary dialing to connect teletype machines. Provided each recipient had a machine, simple text messages could be sent within minutes. Most correspondence was in the form of traditional post. And if something was urgent, and you received a telex, you knew you had to turn it around within a week!

The Seventies saw the evolution of telefacsimile machines, popular in Japan as it was faster to handwrite characters than type them. Consisting of an image scanner, a modem, and a printer, the machine took off during the Eighties, being abbreviated to 'telefax' and eventually to simply 'fax'. Any office could have one, and they could be easily connected to a phone line. And if something was urgent, you knew you had to turn it around that day!

The Nineties saw the replacement of standalone fax machines by fax servers and scanners, and with the evolution of the internet and adoption of electronic mail it was increasingly easy to attach documents to send to each other from each desktop. This saw a financial advantage of reducing costs by eliminating unnecessary printouts and reducing the number of inbound analogue telephone lines needed by an office. Traditional post dwindled to a trickle, and e-mails ruled the earth. And if something was urgent, you knew you had to turn it around that morning!

The 21st Century is here, and we find we can communicate with each other by a variety of different electronic sources. We now communicate by text messaging, instant messaging, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, website links, intranet and extranet sites. Most of us have mobile phones with text messaging and e-mails can now reach you anywhere in the world if you have the latest Blackberry. And people will e-mail, fax you, text you, even phone you up asking for an urgent response. In today's world of fast cars, fast women and fast food, business has to be fast - urgent means right NOW!

Is that what they call progress?

Frustration!

I hate computers today. I'm on my twelfth 'unhandled error' and neither User Support nor the software company can tell me why.

This morning we had a glitch with the emailing system which didn't work for reasons unknown and then suddenly started working again 'for no reason'.

Arghh!

More computer wisdom...

"All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts those who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds of nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end goal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger, and the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works, the result is indisputable: 'This time it will surely run,' or 'I just found the last bug'. " - quote from Frederick Brooks, Jr.

Wrestling with technology

Some personal insights today on one man's struggle with technology. Today I have encountered a computer system that wouldn't let me get access into the program that I wanted to use (it just decided not to), a CD player that blatantly refused to play music until it was coaxed into life by my wife, and problems with access due to an incorrect PIN being inputted. All this, and it's not even twelve midday.

I still have to print 70 sheets of paper for handouts for church tomorrow morning, and to finalise the overheads to enable the words to come up on the screen. Let's hope the afternoon's wrestling match goes well!

Seconds out, round two...